Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Your Journey to Empowerment

In a world that often prioritizes the happiness and approval of others, it can be easy to find ourselves trapped in the cycle of people-pleasing. This behavior, although well-intentioned, can leave us feeling emotionally drained, unfulfilled, and disempowered. However, by understanding the psychology behind people-pleasing and taking steps to overcome it, we can break free from this detrimental pattern and embark on a journey towards personal empowerment.

Understanding People-Pleasing Behavior

People-pleasing is a common behavior characterized by a strong desire to gain the approval and acceptance of others. It involves prioritizing the needs and wants of others over our own, often at the expense of our own well-being. To truly break free from people-pleasing, it is crucial to gain a deeper understanding of this behavior.

Defining People-Pleasing

People-pleasing can be defined as the tendency to prioritize the needs and desires of others over our own. It often stems from a fear of rejection, abandonment, or judgment, causing us to go to great lengths to ensure the happiness of those around us. While it may initially seem selfless, people-pleasing can ultimately lead to a loss of self-identity and a lack of personal fulfillment.

The Psychology Behind People-Pleasing

There are several psychological factors that contribute to people-pleasing behavior. One such factor is the need for external validation and approval. As humans, we naturally seek connection and acceptance from others, and people-pleasing can serve as a way to secure this validation. Additionally, people-pleasing can stem from low self-esteem, as we may believe that our own needs and desires are not as important as those of others.

Another psychological factor that contributes to people-pleasing is the fear of conflict. Many people-pleasers have a strong aversion to confrontation and will go to great lengths to avoid it. This fear of conflict can stem from a variety of sources, such as past negative experiences or a desire to maintain harmonious relationships. However, constantly avoiding conflict can lead to a lack of assertiveness and an inability to express our true thoughts and feelings.

Furthermore, people-pleasers often have a strong desire to be liked by others. This desire can stem from a need for social acceptance and a fear of being disliked or rejected. As a result, people-pleasers may engage in behaviors that they believe will make them more likable, such as agreeing with others, avoiding expressing differing opinions, or constantly seeking validation and reassurance.

It is important to note that people-pleasing behavior is not inherently negative. In fact, it can often be a positive trait, as it demonstrates empathy, compassion, and a willingness to help others. However, when people-pleasing becomes excessive and detrimental to our own well-being, it is important to address and understand the underlying reasons behind this behavior.

In conclusion, people-pleasing is a complex behavior driven by various psychological factors, such as the need for external validation, fear of conflict, and a strong desire to be liked. By gaining a deeper understanding of these factors, we can begin to break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and prioritize our own needs and well-being.

The Impact of People-Pleasing on Personal Life

People-pleasing behavior can have profound effects on various aspects of our personal lives. From our mental health to our relationships and personal growth, people-pleasing can hinder our overall well-being.

Let’s delve deeper into the effects of people-pleasing on different areas of our lives:

Effects on Mental Health

Constantly prioritizing the needs of others can take a toll on our mental health. The pressure to please everyone can lead to anxiety, stress, and feelings of overwhelm. We may also experience a diminished sense of self-worth and a lack of fulfillment, as our own needs often go unaddressed.

Moreover, the fear of disappointing others or being rejected can create a constant state of worry and unease. This chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our overall well-being, affecting not only our mental health but also our physical health.

Furthermore, people-pleasers often struggle with setting boundaries and asserting themselves. This can lead to a sense of powerlessness and a loss of control over our own lives, further contributing to feelings of anxiety and frustration.

Effects on Relationships

While people-pleasing behavior may initially seem beneficial for relationships, it can actually damage them in the long run. By constantly saying “yes” to others at the expense of our own well-being, we may become resentful and emotionally drained.

Moreover, the lack of authenticity that comes with people-pleasing can hinder genuine connections with others. When we prioritize others’ needs over our own, we may attract individuals who take advantage of our selflessness. This can lead to imbalanced and unhealthy relationships, where our own desires and boundaries are consistently disregarded.

Furthermore, the constant need for validation and approval from others can create a dependency on external validation, making it difficult to develop a strong sense of self and independent identity within relationships.

Effects on Career and Personal Growth

People-pleasing can also hinder our career and personal growth. By constantly seeking approval and avoiding conflict, we may shy away from taking risks and pursuing our own goals.

This fear of disappointing others or not meeting their expectations can prevent us from stepping outside of our comfort zones and exploring new opportunities. As a result, we may find ourselves stuck in unfulfilling jobs or stagnant personal lives.

Moreover, the constant need to please others can lead to a lack of assertiveness and difficulty in advocating for ourselves. This can hinder our professional development and limit our ability to negotiate for better opportunities or advancements.

Additionally, the habit of people-pleasing can prevent us from setting clear boundaries in the workplace, leading to an increased workload and potential burnout.

In conclusion, people-pleasing behavior can have far-reaching effects on our personal lives. It can negatively impact our mental health, relationships, and hinder our career and personal growth. Recognizing and addressing this behavior is crucial for our overall well-being and the development of healthy, fulfilling lives.

Identifying Your People-Pleasing Patterns

Recognizing and acknowledging our people-pleasing tendencies is a crucial step towards breaking free from this behavior. By identifying these patterns, we can gain insight into the underlying motivations and make a conscious effort to make positive changes.

People-pleasing is a complex behavior that can have deep roots in our upbringing and personal experiences. It often stems from a desire to be liked, accepted, and validated by others. This need for external validation can lead us to prioritize the needs and wants of others over our own, sometimes at the expense of our own well-being.

Recognizing the signs of people-pleasing is essential in order to address and overcome this behavior. Constantly seeking approval is a common indicator of people-pleasing. We may find ourselves constantly seeking reassurance and validation from others, seeking their approval in every decision we make.

Avoiding conflict is another sign of people-pleasing. We may go to great lengths to avoid disagreements or confrontations, even if it means sacrificing our own opinions and desires. This can lead to a lack of assertiveness and a tendency to go along with what others want, rather than expressing our own needs and preferences.

Difficulty saying “no” is a classic trait of people-pleasers. We may find it incredibly challenging to decline requests or set boundaries, fearing that we will disappoint or upset others. This can result in overcommitment and a sense of overwhelm as we take on more than we can handle.

Recognizing the Signs

People-pleasing can manifest in various ways, and it is important to be aware of the signs. Constantly seeking approval, avoiding conflict, and having difficulty saying “no” are common indicators of people-pleasing behavior. By paying attention to these signs, we can begin to recognize when we are falling into the people-pleasing trap.

Another sign to watch out for is the tendency to put others’ needs before our own. We may find ourselves always prioritizing the well-being and happiness of others, often neglecting our own self-care and personal goals. This can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction in the long run.

Additionally, people-pleasers often have a strong fear of rejection. We may have an intense fear of being disliked or criticized by others, which drives us to constantly seek their approval. This fear can be deeply ingrained and may require introspection and self-reflection to overcome.

Self-Assessment: Are You a People-Pleaser?

Conducting a self-assessment can provide valuable insight into our people-pleasing tendencies. Reflect on your actions and motivations in various situations. Do you often prioritize others’ needs over your own? Do you feel guilty when you say “no” or assert your boundaries? Answering these questions honestly can help determine the extent of your people-pleasing behavior.

It is important to note that people-pleasing is not inherently negative. It is a behavior that often stems from a genuine desire to connect with others and maintain harmonious relationships. However, when taken to an extreme, it can become detrimental to our own well-being and personal growth.

By conducting a self-assessment, we can gain a deeper understanding of our people-pleasing tendencies and the impact they have on our lives. This self-reflection can serve as a starting point for making positive changes and setting healthier boundaries in our relationships.

Steps to Overcome People-Pleasing

Breaking free from people-pleasing is a journey that requires self-reflection, courage, and patience. By implementing these steps, you can start reclaiming your power and living a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential in overcoming people-pleasing. Start by identifying your own needs and priorities. Communicate these boundaries assertively and respectfully to others. Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish, but a necessary act of self-care and self-respect.

Practicing Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a key skill in breaking free from people-pleasing. Learn to express your thoughts, feelings, and opinions confidently and respectfully. Practice saying “no” when necessary and advocating for yourself in a calm and assertive manner.

Building Self-Esteem

Developing a healthy sense of self-esteem is essential in overcoming people-pleasing. Recognize your own worth and value, independent of the approval and acceptance of others. Engage in self-care activities, surround yourself with supportive individuals, and celebrate your strengths and achievements.

Maintaining Your Progress

As you make progress in breaking free from people-pleasing, it is important to acknowledge that setbacks may occur. Maintaining your progress requires resilience and self-compassion.

Dealing with Setbacks

Setbacks are a natural part of any journey, and breaking free from people-pleasing is no exception. When setbacks happen, be gentle with yourself and remember that change takes time. Reflect on the lessons learned, seek support from loved ones, and adjust your strategies if necessary.

Celebrating Small Victories

Along your journey to empowerment, celebrate the small victories. Recognize and acknowledge the progress you have made. Each step forward, no matter how small, brings you closer to living a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Breaking free from people-pleasing is a transformative journey towards personal empowerment. By understanding the psychology behind this behavior, acknowledging our own people-pleasing patterns, and implementing strategies to overcome it, we can reclaim our power and cultivate a life filled with authenticity and fulfillment.

Assertiveness Unleashed: How to Speak Your Truth with Conviction

Assertiveness is a crucial aspect of effective communication and self-expression. It empowers individuals to voice their opinions, make their needs known, and stand up for their rights in a respectful manner. Understanding the fundamentals of assertiveness is essential for anyone looking to enhance their communication skills and create more meaningful connections with others.

Understanding Assertiveness

In order to become more assertive, it is important to understand what assertiveness truly means. Assertiveness involves expressing oneself confidently and directly, while still respecting the rights and opinions of others. Unlike aggression, which involves disregarding the feelings and needs of others, assertiveness aims to strike a balance between one’s own needs and the needs of others.

The Definition of Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to communicate one’s thoughts, feelings, and needs in an honest and straightforward manner, without resorting to passive or aggressive behavior.

The Importance of Being Assertive

Being assertive can have numerous benefits in both personal and professional aspects of life. It allows individuals to express their opinions and desires, leading to more fulfilling relationships and increased self-confidence. It also helps in avoiding or resolving conflicts in a constructive manner.

Common Misconceptions About Assertiveness

There are several common misconceptions about assertiveness. Some people mistakenly believe that being assertive means being rude or pushy. However, assertiveness is about expressing oneself respectfully while still being firm and clear about one’s needs. Others may fear that being assertive will lead to rejection or disapproval from others. However, assertiveness often garners respect and admiration from others, as it shows confidence and integrity.

Assertiveness is not a trait that is fixed or unchangeable. It is a skill that can be learned and developed over time. By practicing assertiveness, individuals can improve their communication skills and enhance their overall quality of life.

One of the key aspects of assertiveness is the ability to set boundaries. This means clearly defining what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from others and communicating these boundaries effectively. By setting boundaries, individuals can protect their own well-being and ensure that their needs are met.

Another important aspect of assertiveness is active listening. When engaging in a conversation, assertive individuals actively listen to others, showing genuine interest and empathy. This helps to build stronger connections and fosters mutual understanding and respect.

Assertiveness also involves the skill of negotiation. By being assertive, individuals can engage in open and honest discussions to find mutually beneficial solutions. This allows for compromise and cooperation, leading to more harmonious relationships and successful outcomes.

In addition, assertiveness requires self-awareness. It is important to understand one’s own needs, values, and beliefs in order to effectively communicate them to others. This self-awareness helps in making assertive decisions and standing up for oneself in a confident and respectful manner.

Lastly, assertiveness is not about always getting one’s way or dominating others. It is about finding a balance between one’s own needs and the needs of others. It involves considering different perspectives and finding win-win solutions that benefit everyone involved.

In conclusion, assertiveness is a valuable skill that can greatly enhance communication, relationships, and overall well-being. By understanding and practicing assertiveness, individuals can become more confident, effective, and respected in their interactions with others.

The Psychology Behind Assertiveness

Assertiveness is not solely a communication skill but also has a psychological component. Understanding this psychological aspect can help individuals develop their assertiveness in a more meaningful way.

When it comes to assertiveness, one of the key factors that influence this trait is self-esteem. People with higher self-esteem tend to be more confident in expressing themselves and asserting their needs. They have a strong belief in their own worth and value, which allows them to stand up for themselves without fear or hesitation.

Building and nurturing self-esteem can be a powerful tool in becoming more assertive. It involves recognizing and acknowledging one’s strengths and accomplishments, as well as accepting and embracing one’s weaknesses and imperfections. By developing a positive self-image, individuals can cultivate the confidence needed to assert themselves in various situations.

Furthermore, assertiveness plays a crucial role in mental health and overall well-being. Research has shown that individuals who are assertive have lower levels of stress and anxiety. This is because assertiveness allows individuals to have more control over their lives and make decisions that align with their values and beliefs.

When individuals are assertive, they are able to set boundaries and communicate their needs effectively. This reduces the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed or taken advantage of, leading to a greater sense of peace and contentment. Additionally, assertiveness promotes healthy relationships, as it fosters open and honest communication, mutual respect, and the ability to resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Moreover, being assertive can also have a positive impact on one’s professional life. It can lead to increased opportunities for growth and advancement, as assertive individuals are more likely to express their ideas, take on leadership roles, and negotiate for what they deserve.

In conclusion, the psychology behind assertiveness is multifaceted. It involves understanding the role of self-esteem in developing assertiveness and recognizing the impact of assertiveness on mental health and overall well-being. By cultivating self-esteem and embracing assertiveness, individuals can enhance their communication skills, improve their relationships, and achieve greater success in various aspects of their lives.

The Art of Speaking Your Truth

Speaking your truth is an essential skill in living an authentic and fulfilling life. However, it can be challenging to identify and effectively communicate your truth in various situations.

When it comes to speaking your truth, it’s important to remember that everyone’s truth is unique and valid. Your truth is a reflection of your values, beliefs, and experiences, and it may differ from those around you. Embracing and expressing your truth allows you to live a life that is true to yourself.

Identifying Your Personal Truth

Before you can speak your truth, it is essential to understand what your truth is. Reflect on your values, beliefs, and feelings to gain clarity on what is most important to you. Take the time to explore your inner self and connect with your authentic voice.

Identifying your personal truth is an ongoing process. It involves self-reflection, introspection, and a willingness to confront your fears and insecurities. It’s about understanding your core values and aligning your actions with those values.

As you delve deeper into your personal truth, you may discover that it evolves and changes over time. Embrace this growth and allow yourself to be open to new perspectives and experiences. Your truth is not set in stone but is a dynamic and ever-evolving aspect of your identity.

Communicating Your Truth Effectively

Effectively conveying your truth requires clear and concise communication. Using “I” statements can help express your feelings and needs without sounding accusatory. When you use “I” statements, you take ownership of your emotions and experiences, making it easier for others to understand your perspective.

Active listening is another crucial aspect of communicating your truth effectively. When engaging in a conversation, make an effort to truly listen to the other person’s point of view. Seek to understand their truth and validate their experiences. By practicing active listening, you create a safe space for open and honest dialogue.

Empathy is also essential in fostering constructive dialogue where both parties feel heard and respected. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand their emotions and motivations. Empathy allows you to connect on a deeper level and find common ground, even when your truths may differ.

Remember, speaking your truth is not about winning an argument or proving someone wrong. It’s about expressing your authentic self and creating meaningful connections with others. By embracing your truth and communicating it effectively, you can cultivate stronger relationships and live a more fulfilling life.

Building Assertiveness Skills

Assertiveness is a skill that can be developed and strengthened with practice. It involves learning and practicing specific techniques, such as assertive body language, assertive speaking, and assertive refusal. By mastering these techniques, individuals can confidently communicate their thoughts and needs, without resorting to passive or aggressive behavior.

One technique for developing assertiveness is through assertive body language. This includes maintaining eye contact, standing or sitting up straight, and using open and relaxed gestures. By adopting confident and assertive body language, individuals can convey their message effectively and assertively.

Another technique is assertive speaking. This involves using clear and direct language to express one’s thoughts and needs. It’s important to use “I” statements to take ownership of one’s feelings and avoid blaming or attacking others. By speaking assertively, individuals can effectively communicate their boundaries and assert their rights.

Assertive refusal is also a crucial skill to develop. It involves saying “no” assertively and respectfully when necessary. This can be challenging for individuals who are used to being passive or accommodating. By practicing assertive refusal, individuals can learn to set boundaries and prioritize their own needs.

Role-playing scenarios provide a safe environment to practice assertiveness skills. By acting out different situations, individuals can gain confidence in expressing themselves and handling potentially challenging interactions. For example, a role-playing scenario could involve a person practicing how to assertively decline a request from a colleague without feeling guilty or anxious.

During role-playing scenarios, individuals can receive feedback and guidance from a facilitator or peers. This feedback is valuable in identifying areas for improvement and refining assertiveness skills. By repeatedly practicing assertiveness in various scenarios, individuals can internalize these skills and apply them in real-life situations.

It’s important to note that building assertiveness skills takes time and effort. It’s a gradual process that involves self-reflection, practice, and patience. However, the benefits of being assertive are numerous. Assertive individuals are more likely to have their needs met, experience less stress, and maintain healthier relationships.

Assertiveness in Different Contexts

Assertiveness is not limited to personal relationships; it is a valuable skill in various settings, including the workplace and conflict resolution situations.

Assertiveness in Personal Relationships

In personal relationships, assertiveness allows individuals to set boundaries, express their needs, and maintain healthy communication. It fosters mutual respect and understanding, creating a stronger foundation for long-lasting relationships.

Assertiveness at Work

In the workplace, assertiveness can enhance professional relationships, improve teamwork, and contribute to career advancement. It allows individuals to assert their ideas without being overshadowed or taken advantage of, leading to a more constructive and collaborative work environment.

Assertiveness in Conflict Resolution

Assertiveness is a crucial skill in conflict resolution. By expressing concerns, listening actively, and finding mutually beneficial solutions, assertive individuals can contribute to more positive and effective conflict resolution.

By understanding the fundamental principles of assertiveness, exploring the psychology behind it, and developing the necessary skills, anyone can become more assertive and confidently speak their truth with conviction. Whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or conflict resolution scenarios, assertiveness is a powerful tool for effective communication and self-expression.

A Guide to Being Memorable and Influential

In today’s competitive professional landscape, standing out and making a lasting impression is essential for ambitious individuals looking to become influential leaders. Whether it’s acing a job interview or impressing potential clients, the ability to be memorable and confident is crucial. In this blog post, we will delve into the key factors that can help you leave a lasting first and last impression. By implementing these strategies, you can enhance your presence, build strong connections, and ultimately achieve your career goals.

Key Factor 1: Eye Contact and Smile

When meeting someone for the first time, the initial moments are critical. Before uttering a word or extending your hand for a handshake, making eye contact and greeting the person with a warm smile can set the stage for a memorable encounter. This simple gesture conveys that you see and value the other person, making them feel safe and acknowledged. While it may seem intimidating, stepping out of your comfort zone and making eye contact and smiling authentically can differentiate you from the crowd.

Key Factor 2: The Power of the Handshake

Despite the recent shift towards alternative greetings due to the pandemic, the handshake remains a powerful and symbolic gesture of trust and connection. Unlike elbow pumps or fist bumps, a firm handshake offers skin-to-skin contact that releases hormones promoting relaxation and comfort. A strong handshake demonstrates confidence, competence, and trustworthiness. Avoiding limp or weak handshakes is crucial, as they can inadvertently convey a lack of discipline or dishonesty. Mastering the art of a firm handshake can leave a lasting positive impression on the person you meet.

Key Factor 3: Body Language and Posture 

Your body language speaks volumes about your confidence and self-assuredness. Maintaining an open body posture—upright shoulders, head held high, and parallel to the ground—invites conversation and engagement. By exuding confidence in your physical presence, you level the playing field and establish yourself as an equal in any interaction. Additionally, being aware of your posture and body language ensures that others perceive you as competent and capable, further enhancing your memorability.

Key Factor 4: Engaged Listening 

Active and engaged listening is an often-overlooked element in making a lasting impression. It is crucial to give your undivided attention to the person you are conversing with. Avoid distractions such as checking your phone or looking around the room while someone is speaking. By demonstrating genuine interest and attentiveness, you make the other person feel seen and valued. Engaged listening helps build rapport and establishes a connection that can set you apart from others.

Key Factor 5: Dressing for Success 

Your attire plays a significant role in shaping others’ perceptions of you. Dressing slightly above the expected standard at a given event or setting allows you to stand out and emphasizes your uniqueness. Presenting yourself well communicates that you take pride in your appearance and are willing to put in the effort to make a positive impression. However, it is essential to remain true to your personality and dress authentically while adhering to the expected dress code.

Key Factor 6: Finding Points of Connection 

Establishing common ground with the person you are interacting with fosters a sense of familiarity and rapport. Before meeting someone, conducting research about their interests, experiences, or shared values can provide valuable talking points. Authenticity is key in finding these points of connection, as attempting to forge artificial commonalities can come across as disingenuous. Identifying and discussing shared experiences or interests can create a strong bond and leave a memorable impression.

Key Factor 7: Removing Barriers and Exiting Gracefully 

To solidify your memorable impression, ensure that there are no physical barriers between you and the person you are conversing with. Holding a plate of food or a drink in your hand creates a subtle barrier that can hinder connection. By setting aside or placing your items on a tray, you communicate openness and invite further interaction. When exiting a conversation, take your time, maintain a confident demeanour, and conclude with a firm handshake, a final gaze, and the person’s name. This last interaction reinforces the connection and leaves a positive lasting impression.

Conclusion 

Mastering the art of making a memorable first and last impression is a valuable skill for ambitious professionals aspiring to become influential leaders. By implementing these key factors, including eye contact and a warm smile, a firm handshake, confident body language, engaged listening, appropriate attire, finding points of connection, and removing barriers, you can leave an indelible mark on others. Remember, authenticity is essential in every interaction. Strive to be the best version of yourself, and your ability to be memorable and influential will undoubtedly lead you to greater success in your career and beyond.

Are You On The Right Mission?

YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT

My father was a big fan of Mission Impossible movies. He loved the impossibleness of the story; the hero, winning against all odds, triumphing against all evil. 

A hero on a mission draws us in.

We want them to succeed, to conquer their fears, to stand courageously in the face of danger and to triumph brilliantly. 

We root for Maximus Decimus Meridius and Ethan Hunt. 

What’s your mission?

 

If I were to ask you what mission you’re on, what would you tell me? Or more importantly, what would you tell yourself?

Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re all on a mission.

It may not feel like we’ve chosen our mission or even accepted the one given, but a mission we are on nonetheless.

Your mission is what you work towards achieving every day. It’s where you channel your time, energy and resources. 

If you’re happy with how things are unfolding in your life, then keep following your mission. When your results match your values and your vision, you’re brilliantly triumphing!

But if you want more in certain – or all – areas of your life, if you feel the need for direction, guidance and a sense of accomplishment, then this article is for you.

 

Choosing to be on a mission

 

 

I’m the first to admit it, I’m a control freak. I like to make my own decisions, take responsibility for them and go after the results I want.

What helps me make those decisions and own those choices is the clarity with which I chose the mission I am on by writing my own personal mission statement.

A personal mission statement defines who you are as a person and identifies your purpose both for your life and your business. It explains how you choose to show up to pursue that purpose and how you impact and serve others – a good statement is always geared towards serving others.

Such a statement is important as it helps you focus on what actually matters to you instead of keeping you stuck in indecision land or going down bottomless rabbit holes. 

Once completed, all your decisions are measured against your personal mission statement and if they don’t fit in it, you shouldn’t follow through with them. As simple as that.

I’ve seen amazingly talented, skilled and hard working people fail at reaching their goals simply because they lacked clear direction and focus. 

In this article, I want to share with you how I crafted my own mission statement and how I invite you to do the same.

It’s not a one-and-done exercise. 

But if you give yourself a few weeks to write it all down, review it and embody it, the rewards it will reap in terms of clarity, focus, productivity and efficiency are well worth the effort.

My clients often tell me that above all else, they no longer feel anxious or overwhelmed, they no longer have doubts or fear about their decisions, they feel clear, driven and supported.

That’s what I want for you.

 

 

Establishing the Foundation

 

As the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey, says your mission statement is about “defining the personal, moral and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself.”

Crafting your personal mission statement is a 4 step process.

  1. List all of your skills and talents. What you are good at and want to do more of.
  2. List all of your goals, aspirations and dreams. The vision you have for your life.
  3. List all of your values. What you believe in, at your core. What transcends you.

The first 3 steps seem pretty simple at first glance, but it’s when you marry them together that you get a true sense of your mission.

If you dream of gracing the stage next to Il Volo but you can’t sing in tune and have little musical talent, you’ll have to choose if you want to devote the time, effort, energy and resources to developing the required skills and therefore, neglecting your other skills and talents.

If you dream of building a $100 million dollar business but you value family above all else, you might find it challenging to be present at every recital, play, practice and competition. You’ll need to choose what to prioritize.

The good news is that there are no right or wrong answers. 

The only requirement is that your skills, talents, goals, ambitions and values work together. If not, it will be mission impossible.

How you marry the items together is what takes the most time to figure out. But again, well worth the effort.

 

Crafting your personal mission statement

 

The fourth step is the actual writing of the personal mission statement.

How you choose to write it, is up to you. Some like to write it in one sentence, like a tagline.

Others like to write it as a letter to themselves as if they had completed the mission and were sharing their triumphs, failures and experiences with their younger self.

I personally like to write it in the present tense, as my Ideal Self. 

My Ideal Self is the embodiment of who I aspire to be.  

As her, I boldly state my skills and talents. I recount how those skills and talents are helping me achieve clearly defined goals in specific timelines.

I detail how my mission benefits and improves the lives of others and how my values carry my mission forward and allow me to make the best decisions for me and my goals.

However you chose to write your personal mission statement, keep it close to you. Read it in the morning and in the evening. Read it out loud. Use it as an anchor when life gets hectic and things feel bleak.  

 

This is your mission, should you choose to accept it.

Lead Yourself First: How To Own Your Vision

OWN YOUR VISION

My client called late one night. It’s very unlike him.

“Eloise, I don’t think I can do this. This is not for me.”  

He’s getting ready to step up as CEO of the family business. He’s been groomed for this position by his father for the past 20 years.

But that night, it no longer felt right.

I asked him why he didn’t feel this role was for him. His initial answers had nothing to do with the truth. They were mere excuses he was giving himself (and trying to give me) to justify why he wasn’t CEO material.

He was trying to reason his way out of a role he had enthusiastically prepared himself for.

Then we got to the truth: I don’t like where the company is headed and I don’t think this is the right direction for us. I feel like I’m being called to take over the helm of the Titanic right before it hits the iceberg.

BINGO!


Own your vision

No matter if you’re taking over someone else’s business or running your own, one thing remains of crucial importance: you have to know, want, clearly define and own your vision.

You have to create the space, within yourself first, to acknowledge that this vision exists.

That this vision will better serve those that serve you and those you serve. 

A vision that will move all of you forward.

You are the only one, as a leader, that can give that vision a voice and the space to exist, in the outside world. 

A true vision is not only a business matter. It is also a personal one.

Your vision is an extension of who you are, what you value and the legacy you want to build.

How you lead others starts with how you’re willing to lead yourself. The vision you have for others, including your business, starts with the vision you have for yourself.

Own it.


Own your decision

Creating the space for your vision to exist is the internal work. It’s uncomfortable but low risk. No one can shut you down but yourself.

Deciding to own that vision and inspiring others to trust you in bringing that vision to life, that’s the hard part.

It takes courage, commitment and confidence.

It takes a willingness to possibly be wrong, to maybe fail, to potentially succeed and see the vision to fruition. 

As a leader, it’s the first and most important decision you’ll make.

Because every other decision thereafter, will be motivated by and aligned with, that vision.

And every decision your team and employees make thereafter, will be motivated by and aligned with, that vision.

If you expect others to make hard decisions based on your vision, you better be ready to make hard decisions yourself.

Your vision is the guiding principle your company shows to the world and all the company stakeholders. It is what gives purpose and meaning to those that support that vision for and because of, you. 

First, own your vision. Then decide to lead with that vision.

Come hell or high water.

Own the helm

“My vision is the opposite of my dad’s vision. How do I own up to it?”

Once you’ve created the space for your vision to exist, once you’ve made the decision that this is the vision you’re going to lead with, because it’s a vision of service and legacy for all involved, now you need to block out the noise and own the helm.

Noise is all around you. 

It comes from people close to you, stakeholders, people you don’t know, social media… The sources and volume of noise are endless.

And when you start listening to the noise, even a little bit, you risk losing your footing.

Every time you let the noise in, you weaken your foundation.

Noise is not to be mistaken for good counsel or good mentoring. 

Good mentoring and coaching propels you forward, in the direction of your vision.

Noise pulls you away from your vision.

It increases self-doubt. 

Noise is deconstructive and eventually, it wears you down.

It turns you into a shadow instead of a leader.

Leadership requires resilience, discipline and a willingness to take on the burden of the helm.

If you ask others to be disciplined in their everyday decisions as they march alongside you towards your vision, you need to make sure you, yourself, have the discipline to lead the way.

Nobody wants to follow a wishy-washy leader that shifts with the surrounding noise.

 

Own the helm.

I don’t think my client had much sleep that night. 

By the time we hung up, he was fired up by his vision again. 

He had imagined it for the past 20 years. He knew exactly where he wanted to take his company and now he was confident he could get his people on board.

He was passionate about this vision because it was a direct reflection of him, as a person. And he was ready to step up and courageously own it.

He never really doubted he could be the CEO of the company, he simply didn’t know how to take ownership of his vision.

Everything I’ve shared in this article does not only apply to business, it applies to everything in your life.

Everything you want to achieve starts with a vision, then a decision, then the ownership of your command post.

Everything you want is on the other side of the discipline, courage and resilience you need to ground yourself in.

Own your vision. Own your decision. Own the helm.

If you like this article and would like your copy of my new FREE Audio Training: Relentless Focus, click the link here: FREE Audio Training: Relentless Focus .

Want more inspiration and strategies to elevate your leadership and performance? 

 

Follow me on Linked In or on Instagram where I regularly share stories and insights on how you can raise the bar every day, elevate your performance as a leader and be an example of what’s possible

How to build relentless focus

Lead yourself first _ relentless focus

There’s an old story of a reporter who asked Bill Gates and Warren Buffett to write down what they believed to be the one undeniable key to success. As the story goes, both billionaires wrote down the same word: FOCUS.

This should come as no surprise. 

A little definition…

According to the Webster Dictionary, focus is “a center of activity, attraction, or attention; a point of concentration; directed attention; a state or condition permitting clear perception or understanding”.

Simply put, experts define focus as our ability to concentrate on a singular task.

But to achieve a specific outcome, it is not enough to concentrate on a task. The attention must be directed towards the right tasks.

Our ability to focus on the right tasks will inevitably speed up the process of reaching any goal. Replace every wasted minute in your day by focused action and you’ll get to where you want to go in half the time. 

In my twenty-odd years of working alongside executives and CEOs, I’ve found that lack of focus is not the main problem. 

We focus (pun intended!) so much on “focusing” itself, that we forget to look at what needs to happen in order to elevate our capacity to focus.

As Dr. Willian R. Klemm, Senior Professor of Neuroscience at Texas A&M University says, “the brain is a programmable computer”. Hence it’s our job to write the code that allows our brain to behave the way we want it to.

Sure we can will our way through day-to-day tasks, but for what purpose when there’s an easier way?

To build relentless focus you need a prequel and a sequel to focus.

Or I should say you need two pillars that support our ability to focus, without relying so much on willpower or risking being overwhelmed and crumbling under the pressure of the tasks.

These pillars are: Clarity & Commitment

Clarity

Spending time on activities that get you nowhere closer to your desired outcome is often labeled as a lack of focus.

But it’s really a lack of clarity.

Before you can wisely channel your resources on the right activities, you need to know what the final aim actually is.

Take a moment and think: what goals are you really after? what’s the vision you have for your business and your life?

After you’ve passed away and your family and friends are throwing a party in your honor, what are all the great things they’ll be saying about your life, your accomplishments, your legacy?

Be specific. Be honest. Be clear.

If you don’t know what you’re aiming for, how are you ever going to focus on what needs to be done to get there.

When I say be honest, I mean really look at what’s required of you to reach your goals. In a world that’s in deep need of positivity, there’s still place for realism.

Are you willing to go the distance? Take on risks? Make the required sacrifice? 

Are you realistically anticipating and preparing yourself for the struggles ahead and the length of the journey to success?

These are all questions you should ask yourself in order to get clear on your goals.

For you to program your brain for relentless focus, you need to be relentless in your quest to understand your goals.

This prepares you for the uncomfortable tasks ahead, minimizing the uprising of procrastination or giving into distractions. 

Be specific. Be honest. Be clear.


Commitment

Now that you know exactly what you want to achieve, what it will take to achieve it and why you want to achieve it, comes the next part.

Commitment. 

Take a moment and think about what you’re truly committed to in your life.

Maybe you’re committed to your relationship with your partner, to walking 10,000 steps a day, to watching every football game of the regular season, to managing your emotions and channeling them productively.

Would you cheat on your commitments? I’m going to say no.

These commitments define you. They represent what you value and what you hold to be true about yourself. When you cheat on commitments, you really only cheat on yourself.

Now take a look at your goals. Are you committed to achieving them? 

If you are, write down your commitment to those goals and keep it handy. 

In hard times, that written commitment will bring you back to what matters most.

It is this commitment that will allow you to align your daily actions to your overall goal.

It is this commitment that will allow you to remain open and aware of new opportunities.

It is this commitment that will allow you to find creative solutions to your challenges.

It is this commitment that will allow you to shut off the TV, to eliminate what doesn’t serve you, to distance yourself from people that drain you, to say no to an outing when what you really need is rest…

It is this commitment that will allow you to have relentless focus on the right actions.

Be specific. Be honest. Be clear. Be committed. Be relentlessly focused.

No alt text provided for this image

If you want to dive deeper into this topic, download my new FREE Audio Training: Relentless Focus where I share 3 strategies to help you commit, focus and execute on achieve your goals on your terms. Click FREE Audio Training.

Successful but overwhelmed? Follow me here on Linked In or on Instagram where I regularly share posts, videos and insights on how you can elevate your performance as a leader without the overwhelm or the unnecessary stress.

Remember, the world needs you at your best, be an example of what’s possible.

Lead yourself first _ relentless focus

HOW TO FUEL AND FOCUS YOUR BUSINESS VISION

vision compass to align your business goals. focus and refuel your business vision.

HOW TO FUEL AND FOCUS YOUR BUSINESS VISION

Growing up, school wasn’t my strong suit. I wanted it to be, as I was brought up thinking being good in school meant I was going to be good in business and all I wanted was to be like my dad, a business (wo)man!

I worked really hard to be good in school, but until mid-way through high school, it wasn’t happening for me.

It didn’t help that I was the younger sibling of a straight A student. My older sister was simply brilliant in school and by the time she was 26, she already had a PhD.

Can you relate? Being the second or third or forth child and not being quite as skilled at something as the others?

Math is where I struggled the most.

The irony was that I loved math. I loved to solve problems, I loved the logic behind the equations, I loved detailing the solution.

But I hardly ever got it right.

My mom, the ever proactive parent, and a former math teacher, took it upon herself to teach me.

And so everyday after school, she would give me extra math homework. She would read to problem, explain it and on I would go to solve it.

To her greatest surprise, and somewhat mine also, I would get the answer right. Almost every time.

I continued getting everything straight As at home but failing the math tests at school.

Where was the problem?

The issue wasn’t math. The issue was that I didn’t understand the problem.

Turns out, I was actually really good in math.

What I wasn’t good at was text comprehension. I didn’t understand what was asked of me so no matter how sharp my math skills were, they were irrelevant because I didn’t understand what answer the teacher was looking for.

Does that sound familiar to you? Having all these skills and talent but not getting the results you are hoping for?

That was me with math. Eventually my mom ditched the math problems and had me work hard in text comprehension.

That changed everything. I went from a below average student to a top student all the way through law school and a second graduate degree.

All because I got clear on what was asked of me AND what I needed to do to get the results I wanted.

What does that have to do with vision?

Everything.

The funny thing about a business vision is that in order to have one, you need to be clear on what you what.

And I don’t mean generally clear, I mean crystal clear. So clear that if you were to describe your vision in a few words to a painter, he could paint an exact replica of what is in your head.

That type of clarity.

Why is it important for your vision to be clear?

Because just like my math problems that I never answered correctly because I wasn’t clear on the problem, clarity is what guides your actions, align your decisions, speaks to your customers, defines your brand, increases customer loyalty, resonates with your fans, generates profits…

Basically all the things you want your business to do.

Clarity is the foundation on which all good decisions are based.

If you are unclear on what you want, how can the outcome be clear and focused?

The greater majority of my clients are business owners. My clients have all reached a certain level of success but they come to me because they’re stuck: up until then, things were moving in their business.

But all of a sudden they stopped growing, attracting new clients, generating more profits, selling out their products and services…

What happened?

It could be many things, but in my experience over the last 20 years in working with business leaders, this can often be linked back to a lack of vision.

At the start, the founder has a clear vision of where she wants to take her company and why it matters to her.

Everything is clear in her head as she shares her ideas, her goals and her dreams with everyone around her. She is 100% focused on realizing her vision.

But as she gets caught up in the everyday chores of reaching her goals, she no longer grows or fuels her vision. And by the time she’s reached her initial goals, her vision is often no longer a reflection of what she wants, who she is or why she started in the first place.

And now she’s stuck and wants to get unstuck.

How to fuel your vision?

As part of my Business Clarity coaching program, I go through a series of coaching questions to bring out what is missing and why the vision is unclear, so they can refuel and focus their vision and get back to running a profitable and lucrative business.

It’s not easy work and I am often met with strong pushback.

Remember, my clients are already successful on some level. Clearly they’ve done something right at one point but whatever that is, they need to get it back.

And that’s where I step in.

To realign their business and most often then not, to realign themselves to what truly matters and to why they started this business in the first place.

Here are the top 5 questions to fuel and focus your vision:

1 – What did you originally set out to accomplish and why?

2 – What is at the core of your business that, if everything was stripped away, would still remain?

3 – If you only look to the futur, where are you in 5 years and why is that important to you?

4 – What business are you really in and is it align with what you truly want?

5 – Is your business vision a reflection of who you are?

I encourage you to ask yourself the same questions.

You may wonder how these questions will help you with your vision.

The key to an impactful vision is one that is close to who you are. One that resonates with you. One that is an extension of you. One that clearly states who you are and what you stand for.

Your vision starts with you.

And more often then not, CEOs, Founders and business owners loose sight of the “me’ part of their business.

Everything becomes mechanical and goal driven. Instead of being vision driven.

There lies the difference.

These questions aim to bring you back to the essence of your business and who you are in this business.

That is where authenticity lies. That is where character lies. That is where your truth lies.

And THAT is what drives customer loyalty, brand recognition, raving fans…. and increased profits.

Because people trust other people more then they trust a business. So the “person” side of your business is what has to shine through.

The “person” who is you has to shine through your vision.

So now that you know what you can do to fuel and focus your vision, take out a piece of paper and write down those 5 questions.

Share some of your answers or comments with our community in the comments below.

If you don’t get clear answers right away, don’t despair.

Fuelling and recreating your vision can take some time. Remember that what matters most, is to put the essence of who you are back at the center of your vision and get really clear on what you want.

To your success,

Eloïse

P.S. I know what it feels like to want so much out of life and to run a business that has a positive and powerful impact on the world. I understand what it’s like to read endless self-help sand business mastery books, looking for that edge that is going to calm the overwhelm and give direction to your life and your business.

I know how all of it feels like because I was stuck there for years. And so have all my clients.

Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE self-help and business mastery books and still read them to this day. But now I know what I was missing that none of these books could give me and that is A CLEAR MISSION OF WHAT I WANT IN MY LIFE AND FOR MY LIFE.

It took me years and thousands of dollars spent on coaches, mentors, workshops and online courses to get to this point. And let’s not forget the two decades I spent travelling the world and working as an international corporate lawyer alongside top business leaders.

All of that got me to here. And HERE is to help you. Because my own mission is:

To inspire and lead others to find clarity and affirm their purpose.

No matter what stage you are at in your life, finding your purpose and getting clear on your mission is the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It is what will bring you the greatest fulfilment. Not to mention, the greatest abundance.

Abundance, yes. When you are clear on what you want, you can focus all of your energy and your willpower on making it happen. Things start flowing, new opportunities are presented to you, ideal clients and partners and adventures are directed your way.

You may not understand how this is all happening and this is far from being “magic” or some woo woo concept. This is simply you getting clear on what you want and channeling your energy accordingly.

If you are looking for that transformation, if you have reached that point where you know there is more to get from your life and your business but you just don’t know how to get there, then I can help you.

I can guide you through the step by step process of getting clear on your vision, your mission and your purpose.

My style of mentoring is tailored to you, your needs, your experiences and your desired outcomes. This is not some cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all kind of coaching.

This is for those that are willing to put in the work to get more out life and their business: more money, more abundance, more joy, more freedom, more fulfilment.

If this sounds like you, if you are like all of my other succesful clients that came to me searching for something more and getting even more out of their life and business, then I urge you to CLICK HERE and get in touch with me directly.

I will directly respond to your email. Not my assistant or another coach. I will personally assist you.

But let me make this clear for you, before you click that link. You are going to have to work for what you want. I am not the “cheerleader” type of coach.

Yes I will support you 1000% but I will also call you out when you need it most.

Remember, this is about YOU. THIS IS ABOUT YOU GETTING THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE. In order to get you there, you will need to work through the process.

If you are ready then I can’t wait to work with you. CLICK HERE.

EXTERIOR VALIDATION: IS IT CRIPPLING YOUR NEXT BIG MOVE?

external validation can sway us in different directions but knowing your mission statement can set you on the right path

EXTERIOR VALIDATION: IS IT CRIPPLING YOUR NEXT BIG MOVE?

The need for exterior validation is something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember.

From the type of sports I played, to the various passions I pursued, to the top grades I was for ever chasing – and falling short of. Exterior validation seemed to be the number one reason for whatever I was choosing to do.

And you would think that with age, being in my early forties, I wouldn’t need it so much or at least I wouldn’t go in search of it or worst, let it dictate what I was doing in my life or in my business.

But as I’ve taken inventory of how things are going for me right now, I’ve come to the debilitating conclusion that exterior validation still plays a big enough role on my life.

More than I’d care to admit.

And by talking to some of my highly successful clients, it seems that I am not the only high achiever that is in the grips of this unsavoury mental model.

Why you shouldn’t rely on external validation for your decisions

First, it’s important to understand what external validation is.

External validation is the need to have other people’s opinion validate how we feel, what we do and how we act. It is the need for praises, or in our social media heavy world, the need for likes, comments and thumbs up.

External validation in and of itself is not bad. It takes an ugly turn when you depend on it to base your decision instead of turning inward and validating with yourself if this next move is the right one for you.

As social psychologists C. H. Cooley and Han-Joachim Schubert wrote in their book On Self and Social Organization, external validation can be summed it up as follows: “I am not what I think I am and I am not what you think I am; I am what I think that you think I am.”

Basing your life decisions on what I think that you think I am is a slippery slope. Because it is no longer about what you think or what you believe in your gut to be true and right for you.

It is about you think others think is true and right for you.

Big difference with big consequences.

So how to loosen the grip of external validation in 3 steps?

1.The first step to loosen the grip of external validation is to realize that it is a part of your decision making process. If you won’t acknowledge that it is a part of you, then it will be very difficult for you to realign your thought process or as mental model.

2. Now that you’ve acknowledge its presence and its impact, turn to internal validation and ask yourself:

What is it about what your decision, your message, your business, your next big move… that resonates with you?

Why is it about those elements (decision, message, business, big move…) that make them important to you?

What value do they carry with them that resonate with your values?

3. The third and final step to loosen the grip of external validation is to come back to your mission statement: what is your reason for being – what is the reason for being for your business. Once you’ve figured out what it is that you are here to accomplish, it won’t matter as much what others think, because you are on a mission.

External validation looses it’s power when you are grounded in your mission.

Think of it this way:

If Rosa Parks had stopped and let external validation dictate her actions, she wouldn’t have became an international icon of resistance to racial segregation. She fearlessly pursued her actions because they were grounded in her mission to end racial injustice

If the Wright Brothers had let external validation and social mockery dictate their actions, they would have quit on their dreams to see man fly.

I could go on and on with an endless list of amazing inventors, creators and world-shakers that shaped the way we see life and do business today because they didn’t let external validation dictate what they needed to do or what their next big move should be.

You may be thinking that you have no desire to become an international icon of some sort or revolutionary inventor but your purpose remains just as important and crucial to be realized.

Realizing your purpose is the only way you will find fulfilment. It is the only way you will know why you are here, why you have this life and why you started this business.

It is then no longer about them or even about you but about what you are here to do.

The message you share through your work your business, your services and your products; that is what is important. It is the message itself that is important.

How to get clear on your mission

Understanding the mission you are on is the catalyst to letting go of what others may or may not think of what you think they think of you.

When you are on a mission, think Mission Impossible and Tom Cruise, the mission itself is what’s most important.

So as you start thinking about your own mission, think about what it is you want to accomplish in your life and why.

Ask yourself what are the ACTIONS you would take if nothing held you back and if you had no fear.

Then write them down and let them sink in for a bit.

That’s the first step I want you to cover today: simply look at your mission in terms of actions.

To help you get started, take out a dictionary – or look one up on your smart phone- and browse through verbs that ignite a fire in you.

Think of verbs like “inspire”, “ignite”, “change”, “create”, “build”, “save”, “spread”, “encourage”, “enlighten”… Whatever verb feels right to you in terms of what ACTION you would take if you had no fear and no one was holding you back.

Write them down on a piece of paper (yes with a pen and paper, not on your smart phone – there is actually a cognitive reason behind this that makes your writing a lot more powerful and meaningful) and allow those verbs to sink in.

And while you let those sit and sink in, I’d love to hear what those action words are for you. Leave a comment below or send me a quick email. I’m always eager to hear from you.

To your success,

Eloïse

P.S. I know what it feels like to want so much out of life and to run a business that has a positive and powerful impact on the world. I know what it’s like to read endless self-help sand business mastery books, looking for that edge that is going to calm the overwhelm and give direction to your life and your business.

I know how all of it feels like because I was stuck there for years. And so have all my clients.

Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE self-help and business mastery books and still read them to this day. But now I know what I was missing that none of these books could give me and that is A CLEAR MISSION OF WHAT I WANT IN MY LIFE AND FOR MY LIFE.

It took me years and thousands of dollars spent on coaches, mentors, workshops and online courses to get to this point. And let’s not forget the two decades I spent travelling the world and working as an international corporate lawyer alongside top business leaders.

All of that got me to here. And HERE is to help you. Because my own mission is:

To inspire and lead others to find clarity and affirm their purpose.

No matter what stage you are at in your life, finding your purpose and getting clear on your mission is the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It is what will bring you the greatest fulfilment. Not to mention, the greatest abundance.

Abundance, yes. When you are clear on what you want, you can focus all of your energy and your willpower on making it happen. Things start flowing, new opportunities are presented to you, ideal clients and partners and adventures are directed your way.

You may not understand how this is all happening and this is far from being “magic” or some woo woo concept. This is simply you getting clear on what you want and channeling your energy accordingly.

If you are looking for that transformation, if you have reached that point where you know there is more to get from your life and your business but you just don’t know how to get there, then I can help you.

I can guide you through the step by step process of getting clear on your mission and claiming your purpose.

This mentoring is tailored to you, your needs, your experiences and your desired outcomes. This is not some cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all kind of coaching. This is for those that are willing to put in the work to get more out life and their business: more money, more abundance, more joy, more freedom, more fulfilment.

If this sounds like you, if you are like all of my other succesful clients that came to me searching for something more and getting even more out of their life and business, then I urge you to CLICK HERE and get in touch with me directly. I will directly respond to your email. Not my assistant or another coach. I will personally assist you.

But let me make this clear for you, before you click that link. You are going to have to work for what you want. I am not the “cheerleader” type of coach. Yes I will support you 1000% but I will also call you out when you need it most.

Remember, this is about YOU. THIS IS ABOUT YOU GETTING THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE. In order to get you there, you will need to work through the process.

If you are ready then I can’t wait to work with you. CLICK HERE.

30 UNIQUE IDEAS FOR YOUR MORNING ROUTINE

morning routine with coffee and journaling


A Morning routine is as unique as our coffees and teas.

This routine is designed to work for you and as such, need to be tailored to your needs. Oprah Winfrey starts her day with spiritual exercises while Jeff Bezos, the Founder of Amazon, likes to include what he calls “high-IQ meetings,” before lunch time.

As entrepreneurs we need to structure our days to be as efficient and productive as possible. So how do you kickstart your day?
If you fee; your day can’t be further optimized or you’re looking for fresh new ideas to help you tailor your own morning routine, you’ve come to the right place.


Here you’ll find 30 unique ways to kickstart your day. Plus, a guide on how to implement these changes into your current morning routine for optimal results.


The goal here is to get you energized and productive, not burn out. So don’t aim to implement everything or things that don’t resonate with you. Make your morning routine as unique as you are.

A Routine of Self-Care


As entrepreneurs, we are the core of our business. Our business needs us. Self-care then becomes a priority for us and for our business.

1.Pamper routine. Start off your day by pampering yourself. Other than washing your face, showering and brushing your teeth, consider taking an extra step. Try a face mask, ,a body lotion or even a 5 min bath. Taking care of yourself helps your overall well-being and puts you in a relaxing mood.

2.Exercise. This has been part of my morning routine for the past 20 years. And it’s never failed me. The benefits of morning exercise are endless. According to A Forbes article, one benefit of morning exercises is an increase in productivity. But it doesn’t need to be a full-blown workout. Include stretching exercises, yoga, 30 mins HIIT workouts or anything that moves your body and gets those endorphins going.

3.Go for a walk. For those who cannot imagine doing any form of rigorous exercise in the morning, consider going for a walk. It may be a short walk but moving your body and getting fresh can be a great way to start your day. Both Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were known to conduct meetings while walking.

4.Meditate. Many of us entrepreneurs need to navigate stress and overwhelm. Mediation is key for putting your mind at ease and the effects carry on throughout the day. If you’re just trying meditation for the first time, consider these simple steps for meditation and mindfulness.

5.Sleep-in. Not all entrepreneurs are early birds. We totally get that! Don’t feel guilty or shameful if you want to sleep in. Sleep is not a luxury, it’s a necessity If you work best at night, when everyone is asleep, then do you. Your morning routine needs to revolve around your own needs.

6.Journal. In the morning, your thoughts are fresh, unfiltered and often times, un-negotiated. In other words, they are prime to be put down on paper. Journaling can be used to track your progress or as part of your creative process. It is also used to document emotions and organize what goes on in our minds. Journaling is a form of expressing thoughts and emotions. Writing can also help you gain perspective and relieve stress.

7.Gratitude prayer. Gratitude Prayer is another essential part of my morning routine. This practice allows you to express gratitude for the things you have, big and small but also for all the amazing opportunities to come. For example, “I am grateful for the clients that need my help today.” It leaves me energized, open to new opportunities and ready to take on the day.

8.Pray. No matter who you pray to, the Universe, God, Source, Divine Light… make time for prayer. It will ground you and give you a sense of unity. As entrepreneurs, we often feel alone with our struggles and hardship. Not everyone understands the choices we make. Prayer allows you to feel connected. Like someone is watching over you, guiding you and cheering you on.

9.Take cold shower. This friends, is life changing! And yes, I do it every morning… even in the bitter cold winter months. Forget a splash of cold water on your face. Before you step out, turn the water as cold as you can tolerate for the last 30 seconds of your shower. There are multiple scientific reasons to take cold showers including increasing endorphins and improving metabolism.

10.Listen to music. For some, music is a great way to get energized. Create a playlist of motivational songs. I recommend playing it while you are getting ready, exercising or eating.

Set Your Goals for the Day

Setting your intention for the day is powerful. You will feel prepared and ready to take on whatever comes your way.


11. Review daily schedule. Kick off your morning by reviewing what you have planned. A simple review keeps you aware of what’s to come and helps you stay on track.

12. Review previous day of work. Make note of anything you didn’t finish on the previous day so nothing gets left behind.

13. Read your mission statement. Your mission statement is the foundation of your business. It is the basis of your brand and the story you share with your customers. It is what grounds your business in difficult times and what aligns your actions and future decisions. Reading it in the morning helps you navigate any hurdles you come across during the day.

14. Run errands/clean. Get rid of any small errands you can cross off your list. And make sure your work space is tidy. A clean workspace helps you focus

Socialize


After being quarantined, we all know how socializing is essential for our well-being. Consider adding a social element to your morning routine a few times per week.


15. Catch up with friends. A quick check in with friends is a fun way to start your day. Suggest going for a walk together or having a quick phone call to catch up.

16. Reach out to people in your network. Follow the saying, “its who you know, not what you know,”. Spend a few minutes every morning to reach out or catch up with people in your network. This could be by email, text, or through your favourite social media platform like LinkedIn.

17. Call family. It’s always nice to catch up with home base, in whatever was home base is for you. Maybe you call your parents, your grand-parents or your siblings, maybe you call a mentor or a childhood friend.

18. Watch the news. Stay away from all the negative gossip but do get your information in. Try a newspaper, online NEWS magazine or Twitter.

Let’s get to work


There are no shortages of tasks on our to-do lists. Consider putting important tasks at the beginning of the day, when you are fresh, creative and open. Make sure to block time to complete tasks “you normally don’t have time for.”


19. Make important phone calls. If you don’t do them early on in the day, they will be on your mind until you do them. So, get that done as early as possible.

20. Work on a side project. This is for the entrepreneurs who love working on multiple projects at once. Reserve morning time for one of those projects so you can cross it off your list.

21. Review proposal, slides for presentation. No matter what you have planned for the day, a proposal can haunt you until it’s over. Don’t fight it. Review those slides and kill it.

22. Write a blog post. Consider using one morning to focus on those pesky tasks we always push down the priority list, like writing that blog post.

23. Review one page of your website. Hone in on website user experience. As one of those tasks that we tend to push aside, try optimizing one part of your website at a time. Break it down by page, content, call-to-actions and funnels.

24. Optimize your LinkedIn account. As LinkedIn becomes a primary lead source for many entrepreneurs, there are many resources to help you optimize your LinkedIn account.

25. Check your email. We get caught in this trap where we check our email five times a day. Instead, dedicate specific times to check your inbox.

Build Your Community


A large part of managing online businesses is building a community. Dedicate time, in the morning, so it isn’t left on the back burner.

26. Check social media. On average, people spend 144 minutes on social media per day. As entrepreneurs, we don’t have time to scroll through gossip. However, many of us need to spend time on social platforms to grow our business. Therefore, once you’ve found a platform that appeals to your ideal clients, dedicate specific times of the day to look at your socials.

27. Do an Instagram live. If Instagram is a good lead source for your business consider doing a Instagram live to build your community. Richard Moore, a sales guru from the United Kingdom, has gone live on Instagram every single Monday for the last four years. You can just imagine how loyal his following is.

28. Consider a Facebook live. There are over a billion people on Facebook. Regardless of what you think of the platform, your target audience is likely to be there. Consider going on Facebook live to build your community as well.

29. If you have it, LinkedIn live. Although you need to sign up for LinkedIn Live, it can be worth the trouble to get it because it sets you apart. And of course, like for the other platforms, it helps you build a loyal community of ideal clients.

30. Enjoy your morning routine!

Morning Routine Guide for Optimal Results


After choosing some of the recommendations you want to try, here is a best practice guide:

– First and foremost, do not attempt to start your day with every single recommendation above. Limit your morning routine to a maximum of 3 to 5 different tasks. Your morning routine should take all morning…

– Change one thing at a time. Just like changing a habit, I don’t recommend changing more than one at a time. Implement one change and see how you like it. Try it for 30 days. Then, adjust and repeat the process.

– Try to stick to the same routine every day. It builds positive habits and your body expects all the good that is coming. A morning routine repeated daily gives a sense of control, which, in the world of entrepreneurship, is a welcome change. However, do tweak when needed. For example, a full workout might not be ideal on a given day when you have a very early meeting. But do schedule in time to move your body, even if it’s only for a 15 min stretching routine.

– In this blog post, I separated the recommendations into five categories. Feel free to juggle them around.

– Don’t be scared to drop what doesn’t work for you. However, if you say you’re going to try it, actually do it. Give your new routine a fair chance.


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