ASSERTIVENESS IN ACTION

Being assertive isn't about being aggressive; it's about confidently expressing your thoughts, ideas, and boundaries while fostering collaboration and respect. Assertiveness may not have worked for you in the past, and we'll discover why and how you can change that. Join us to learn practical tips and insights to cultivate your assertiveness, amplify your influence, and lead with authenticity.

Episode 2 - Executive Presence

TRANSCRIPT - EPISODE 2

Hi, this is Eloise, and thank you for tuning in to today’s exclusive podcast. 

We are just a few days away from our live masterclass and I want to continue this momentum that we created, so that when we get to this live masterclass, everything that I’m going to teach you is going to resonate with you, it’s going to make sense to you, you will already have gotten the ball rolling, you will have already created this momentum in your life, where you have decided to be more assertive, to speak more assertively to be more confident in the way that you show up. 

And that’s exactly what we’re going to talk about. 

Today, I want to talk about a transformation that’s not just possible but achievable for you. 

Now, I want you to close your eyes for just one minute. And I want you to imagine you’re walking into a meeting, not as the underestimated professional in the room, not as the invisible person, not as the one who just positions herself in the corner.

But as someone who is respected, someone who is expected, someone who is influential, I want you to imagine that when you start speaking, people stop. 

And they listen because they’re eager to see what you have to say. Imagine that your ideas are appreciated, acknowledged, and recognized, and want you to imagine that you’re not only being heard as an equal, but people are actually following through on your ideas on what you are sharing with them. They are engaged in the conversation that you are having with them. 

And that’s the transformation that I want to speak to you about today. 

Now, if you are thinking, Eloise, there is such a gap between what you had me pictured, there is such a gap between where I am right now and what you have just said because even though I have all of the knowledge and experience, I still feel so invisible. I feel like I have to fight to be heard every single day.

I understand.

I understand because I’ve coached thousands of men and women like you. 

And I understand these challenges intimately. 

I’ve helped many women, especially, overcome the challenges of being invisible professionals in the corner while everybody speaks louder and more dominantly. 

And that’s why I’m here. 

I’m here to share my knowledge and experience with you. And I’m also here to reassure you that whatever that gap is, no matter how big that gap is, you can close it.

No matter how frustrated and angry and overwhelmed you feel right now. Because, like I said, you may be fighting every single day, to have your voice heard to get the recognition you deserve, and it’s wearing you down. And you feel like there’s such a big gap between what I told you to imagine where you are right now I want you to know that it is possible that you can close that gap.

That’s what we’re going to talk about right now. 

Now one of the biggest reasons why there is that gap to begin with, is because you lack executive presence. 

Now, if you know me, you know that I do not sugarcoat things, you know that I am to the point and I am direct and I do this because I care. Because I want you to get results. 

And if I sugarcoat things and dance around a topic, you may feel the incentive to change. 

One of the reasons why people are not paying attention right now is because you don’t have that commanding presence. 

Some people call it executive presence. Others call it leadership presence, commanding presence.

It’s all the same thing. 

AT THE END OF THE DAY. IT’S A PROBLEM THAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED AND CAN IMPACT YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE. WHEN PEOPLE FEEL INVISIBLE, WHEN THEY FEEL UNHEARD, THEY START DOUBTING THEMSELVES. 

I have seen this over and over again and professionals like skilled, knowledgeable incredible professionals doubt themselves because other people doubt them because other people are not recognizing their value because other people are not listening to them.

And that can change the moment you start showing up differently. The moment you start enhancing your professional presence and demonstrating your worth and your competence, your contributions are going to be valued.

Now, you may be thinking, Eloise, is this even possible for me? 

And the answer is yes. I’ve seen introverts, I’ve seen people pleasers, I’ve seen people who were timid and shy all develop a commanding presence.

The key here is to align your presence with your strengths and your professional environment. 

That’s how you start building a commanding presence. 

It’s not about faking it till you make it, which is something that I genuinely dislike. 

It’s about being authentically who you are and enhancing the best part of you. It’s about removing the doubt and the fear. It’s allowing you to manage the fear of criticism, the fear of judgment, the fear of ridicule, the fear of rejection, it’s about learning to manage all those fears. 

It’s about rewiring, rewriting, reframing your narrative and your stories, so that you can enhance the best parts of you.

One of the techniques that I teach for building commanding presence is the power pose.

The power pose is something that was made popular by psychologist researcher, Amy Cuddy, where for five minutes every single day, you stand in front of a mirror, like Wonder Woman or Superman, and you hold that posture for five minutes. 

Now, that’s going to feel very uncomfortable, and it’s going to feel very strange. And that’s why I’m telling you to do this in your own bathroom, where you don’t have to do it in front of other people. But what it does is it starts teaching your brain that you are powerful.

It teaches your body how to hold yourself in an assertive posture.

But oftentimes, we don’t carry that with them throughout the day, like even though they practice it for five minutes. 

And it’s been proven to boost testosterone and to boost endorphins. And all these feel good hormones, when you practice it for five minutes every single day. And they’re those hormones will last in your body for a certain set period of time. 

BUT THE REASON WHY PEOPLE DON’T CARRY THAT THROUGHOUT THE DAY, THAT POSTURE, THAT ENERGY, THAT MINDSET IS THAT THEY HAVE ALL THESE FEARS, AND ALL THESE DOUBTS THAT START CREEPING IN.

What’s standing in the way of you and your commanding presence are the stories that you are telling yourself, the narrative that you have about yourself and the impact that you are having in the world around you, your environment and your career.

When you start building your executive presence, it’s just as important to highlight your strengths as it is to work on what’s holding you back. 

Because think of it for just one moment. 

If you knew how to manage the fear of being ridiculed the fear of being rejected the fear of being judged, the fear of being criticized, how would you show up?

How would you show up? How would you speak? How would you hold yourself? How would you sit at the table at a meeting? How would you express yourself, things would completely change, things would be completely different.

And when I hear the CEOs of companies that I speak with tell me: 

I would really like to promote this person, but they just lack leadership presence, they lack commanding presence, I feel like they feed in the background, they have the skills, they have the knowledge, they have the experience, but they’re just faded in the background. I can’t promote them, they’re never going to be respected as a leader. My team is not going to see them as a figure of authority. They deserve the promotion, I just can’t give it to them based on how they’re showing up.

And I hear this again and again and again.

The first step you can take to change that is yes, by practicing the power pose, but also by assessing the narratives that you have about yourself and the fears that are holding you back.

We’re going to talk about this even more in our upcoming masterclass because my goal is for you to get those promotions, to close those big deals, to be that team leader that is respected and has that authority, to get recognition from your peers. 

I want you to be that mentor to others who are looking up to you, because you have become that person with executive presence.

In our next conversation, we are going to look at all the benefits and the impact of commanding respect in your professional life and we’re also going to look at the one ingredient that I haven’t mentioned yet, but is the absolutely necessary ingredient to make all of this work.

That’s emotional management. 

We’re going to talk about that in our last exclusive podcasts together before our live masterclass. 

Before I let you go, I want you to think about a situation where you felt you faded in the background.

I want you to think about a situation where like, Oh, if I had shown up differently, I would have experienced a different outcome

Let me make this clear because I didn’t make it clear in the first episode: this is not an exercise in self-criticism. 

This is not an exercise in self-judgment. 

This is an exercise and self awareness; you can only ever change what you are aware of. 

This is not an opportunity for you to be harsh with yourself to criticize yourself to be hurtful towards yourself, this is an opportunity for you to bring awareness to the results that you are getting that are not aligned with what you want, and see what it is that you are currently doing that you need to change in order to get different results.

So when I asked you to think about a time when you faded in the background, where you could have had more presence, and it would have changed things for you, it is an opportunity for awareness, it is an opportunity for you to tap into your curiosity and think:

Oh, yeah, I did that this time. And you know, what, had I done things differently? Had I shown up differently, had I claimed my seat at the table then the outcome would have probably been different. The way people perceive me would have been different.

I would have been heard, I would have been seen,I would have had an impact, and I would have been able to influence the decision that was made.

Interesting, what can I do next time, so that I can challenge the decisions so I can influence others so I can have impact so I can get others to listen and to hear me and to see me as their leader.

Once you find that, I want you to share it with me because I want you to know that your voice matters. 

You can send me a DM on social media, you can send me an email. 

Don’t miss tomorrow’s last exclusive podcast. As I mentioned, we’re going to talk about the glue that brings everything together which is emotional management. I’ll see you then.

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