BEING A WOMAN IN BUSINESS: MY 3 VULNERABLE STRUGGLES
Personal struggles are not often spoken about. Especially not when it comes to the business world. And even less so if you’re a woman.
Struggles are meant to be dealt with privately. But today, I want to share my own struggles with you.
If you met me for the first time, either standing on stage delivering a talk or sitting across a coffee table talking about business, vision, spirituality or leadership, you’d never think I struggle.
But truth is, I do. And as I’ve come to realize over the past twenty years, I struggle just like most women in business do.
You’d think I’d be over it by now; that I’d learn to tame some of the voices in my head, and truthfully, I’ve done a lot of work to get to where I am. But nonetheless, as my business continues to grow, it seems as though my struggles grow along with it.
And as I sit here writing, I want to share with you my most secret and vulnerable struggles.
MY 3 VULNERABLE STRUGGLES
In sharing these struggles, I’m hoping to shed some light on what goes on behind the scenes of being a woman in business.
I do not pretend to know how every woman feels nor do I pretend to represent the voice of every woman.
But I do want other women that feel similar struggles, to know that they are not alone. I also want the amazing men that support us women in business to know about these struggles and to know that their positive input and inspiring motivation are important to our success.
1. How will people react to my aspirations?
This has always been a big one for me.
Growing up, I always had huge inspirations. I wanted to be a surgeon, a politician, a world renowned fashion designer, a bad-ass lawyer… If I felt I could help people and have an impact on the world, I wanted to be it.
As encouraging as my parents were, I was often told by others in my surroundings not to dream so big, not to want so much, not to aim so high.
That I’d be better off wishing for a “normal, regular” life. Happiness wasn’t found in the struggles required to achieve big things.
That never phased me. I always kept pushing and striving for more.
But it did make me very cautious as to who I expressed my dreams and aspirations to. I became very guarded about my ambitions and felt insecure about letting others in.
Most times, it made me feel like an outsider.
It took years for me to feel like I belonged somewhere. That I wasn’t being judged for wanting “so much”.
The key was finding my tribe. Finding people I could connect with that have similar if not “crazier” dreams and ambitions then I have.
Growing up my dad used to always say: show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.
Basically meaning: you level up or down to the people that you surround yourself with.
Even though I have found my tribe, I am still cautious when sharing new thoughts and ideas with people that aren’t as ambitious as I am.
I don’t want to be put down for my aspirations. I don’t want to have to explain myself or my dreams. I struggle with wanting to be accepted for who I am, big dreams and all.
2. How will I manage being a mom and running a business?
Being a mom is by far the hardest job in the world. Granted, it is also the most rewarding. But man is it difficult…
Now add wanting to grow a business, to impact the world and to help as many women in business find their purpose and clarify their vision.
Now we have what seems like an impossible feat on our hands. And did I add the guilt that comes from wanting all those things?
That’s where I stand and that is the heart of one of my biggest struggles.
Wanting to be home to make a healthy and delicious home-cooked dinner for my two kids and husband while also wanting to work with a new client in figuring out how we can shift her business to align with her values and vision.
Wanting to be present on social media, sharing my message and impacting my followers, while being home, reading bedtime stories, walking the dog, folding laundry and laying my kid’s clothes for the next day.
And as if the guilt that I personally feel and put on myself wasn’t enough to drown in, there is also the guilt coming from “outside”.
The snarky comments, the looks, the obvious message hidden in a question form.
The only way I have found to rise above this guilt is to:
a) take ownership
b) use it as fuel
When ever I feel a rush of guilt or I’m being made to feel guilty about my roles as both a mom and a business woman, I remember that both these choices are my own and I need to own up to them. I made those choices. I made the choice to have children and I made the choice to run and grow my own business.
And in order to be succesful at both, I need to make sacrifices for both. The vision that I have for my life and the vision I have for my business are my anchor and my compass. They guide me as that what sacrifices I am willing and not willing to make. Without a clear vision, I would be lost.
I also use the guilt as fuel, knowing that it can be a powerful ally to push me to be the best mom I can be and the best coach and business woman.
3. Am I enough?
This is a painful secret struggle.
You would think that being highly educated, having a law degree and a master’s degree in corporate law, having traveled the world and worked alongside accomplished business leaders I would feel like I am enough.
Truth is, sometimes I wonder if I am.
Am I enough to make my ambitions come to life?
Am I enough for the people around me to love and accept me?
Am I knowledgeable, skilled, competent, (etc.) enough?
These questions come to mind every now and then and when they do, I’m in for a ride of self-doubt.
The beauty in aging is that I know that nothing lasts forever. Including a wave of self-doubt.
When one hits, I recognize that this is simply my brain trying to keep me safe and I know how to counter the attack.
First, I take a deep breath and express my gratitude for all the knowledge and experience that I have ( I did this even when I had very little experience and no higher education degree. What ever I did have, I was thankful for.)
Second, I question my brain and my inner-critic as to why it is showering me with doubt. What is it that I’m missing that I should be paying attention to? How can I use this to improve myself? How can I turn this discomfort into a learning experience and most importantly, what can I learn here?
Third, I remind myself of my vision and how long I’ve come along my journey to achieving this vision. I remind myself that this journey I am on is a journey of growth, expansion and limitless potential. A journey to help, heal and impact others. I also remind myself of the parable of the talents and that, my duty is to always give the best of who I am and the best of what I have and that in this calling, there is no doubt.
To your success,
P.S. I know what it feels like to want so much out of life and to run a business that has a positive and powerful impact on the world. I understand what it’s like to read endless self-help sand business mastery books, looking for that edge that is going to calm the overwhelm and give direction to your life and your business.
I know how all of it feels like because I was stuck there for years. And so have all my clients.
Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE self-help and business mastery books and still read them to this day. But now I know what I was missing that none of these books could give me and that is A CLEAR MISSION OF WHAT I WANT IN MY LIFE AND FOR MY LIFE.
It took me years and thousands of dollars spent on coaches, mentors, workshops and online courses to get to this point. And let’s not forget the two decades I spent travelling the world and working as an international corporate lawyer alongside top business leaders.
All of that got me to here. And HERE is to help you. Because my own mission is:
To inspire and lead others to find clarity in their purpose and vision.
No matter what stage you are at in your life, finding your purpose and getting clear on your mission is the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It is what will bring you the greatest fulfilment. Not to mention, the greatest abundance.
Abundance, yes. When you are clear on what you want, you can focus all of your energy and your willpower on making it happen. Things start flowing, new opportunities are presented to you, ideal clients and partners and adventures are directed your way.
You may not understand how this is all happening and this is far from being “magic” or some woo woo concept. This is simply you getting clear on what you want and channeling your energy accordingly.
If you are looking for that transformation, if you have reached that point where you know there is more to get from your life and your business but you just don’t know how to get there, then I can help you.
I can guide you through the step by step process of getting clear on your vision, your mission and your purpose.
My style of mentoring is tailored to you, your needs, your experiences and your desired outcomes. This is not some cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all kind of coaching.
This is for those that are willing to put in the work to get more out life and their business: more money, more abundance, more joy, more freedom, more fulfilment.
If this sounds like you, if you are like all of my other succesful clients that came to me searching for something more and getting even more out of their life and business, then I urge you to CLICK HERE and get in touch with me directly.
I will directly respond to your email. Not my assistant or another coach. I will personally assist you.
But let me make this clear for you, before you click that link. You are going to have to work for what you want. I am not the “cheerleader” type of coach.
Yes I will support you 1000% but I will also call you out when you need it most.
Remember, this is about YOU. THIS IS ABOUT YOU GETTING THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE. In order to get you there, you will need to work through the process.
If you are ready then I can’t wait to work with you. CLICK HERE.